In My Feelings
Tonight's one of those nights! I got off from work a little early today. Not because of a holiday or anything, but simply because I felt like it. The pressures of being a professional can really overwhelm me at times, but I am a firm believer in choosing MYSELF over everything. And myself told me it was time to go home around 2 o'clock, so that’s exactly what I did.
My morning started off ROUGH so by lunch I knew I needed a little time to myself. I finished my task for the day and snuck away to the quietness of my home. I poured me a glass of wine, drew me a hot bubble bath, and turned on my favorite Pandora station before submerging myself in the warmth that only a hot bubble bath can supply.
I was feeling GREAT! It was like the water had taken all my worries and washed them away (or maybe it was the wine… you decide). But then it happened! Right after a commercial for Zaxby's Chicken Fingers the music started playing. As I listened, the waters that once made me feel rejuvenated suddenly felt more like a pool of despair.
I'M CRYING. Crying about some shit that had nothing to do with why I'm in here in the first place. My bad day wasn't even about him. Damn Pandora, I choose you to help me feel better and you got me in my feelings about this guy from my past. The lyrics of "I Miss You" by Aaron Hall went forth so clear, "We use to talk and laugh all night girl, what happen to those days? Did they all just fade away." I said to myself, "I don’t know what happen… why did they all just fade away?"
Now I'm bawling in tears! Reminiscing about that one night we were at my apartment listening to music and laughing all night. "The good times," I tell myself. The song went on. "I thought you'll be with me forever but I guess someone took my place". The tears continued. Now this song got me jealous of somebody that ain't even worth it. I'm sitting here thinking about the pictures he just posted with my replacement.
And the next thing I know, I'm trying to pour another glass of wine, but the bottles empty. I'm singing to the top of my lungs! "I miss youuuuu… I will do anything in the world to have you back again."
Sigh!
So it didn't really happen like that (or maybe it did LOL). I'm just trying to paint a picture for you to see. I am sure I am not the only one who has heard a song or walked past a place that brought back memories of what use to be. Hell, it seems like everywhere I turn it is something reminding me of a fuck boy from my past.
This lesson took me some time, but I had to learn how to snap out of those moments that persuaded me to miss something that was only meant to be TEMPORARY in my life. If I have not learned anything else in the past year of my life, I have learned this one powerful key. If someone decides to walk out of your life, LET THEM GO! It is their lost! 9 times out of 10, you could bring more to the table than they could anyway!
As woman, we have the tendency to see potential rather than looking at what's really in front of us. BUT just in case you didn’t know, not everyone lives up to their potential! I've seen so many woman marry based off potential and then get divorced because the other person didn’t do what they "thought" they were going to do. Save yourself that heartache! If bae doesn't have it together today, 9 times out of 10 bae is not going to wake up with it together tomorrow. So give yourself a reality check! Because I'm sure the facts won't have you crying in a now cold bubbleless pool of water with a empty bottle of wine. SO SNAP OUT OF IT!
When your emotions are running wild remember that healing is a process. It’s okay to not have it all together. It's okay to not have it figured out. It's okay to have a cry every once in a while. And it's even okay to miss those things that once were everything to us. BUT after a good 20 minutes, check the facts and SNAP OUT OF IT!
So with that being said, the main thing that I want you to take from this is GET SPOTIFY and make your own playlist because Pandora will F your life up 😂😂 (Just Kidding). I do recommend Spotify over all other music streaming apps! So if someone from Spotify happens to read this, stop taking $10 out my account every month because I just got you about 3 new customers. LOL Isn't that how these blogs work? *shrugs*
On a more serious note, if you happen to find yourself in a place where your emotions get the best of you, please remember that you are not ALONE. Everyday that we wake up, we are riding the roller coaster of life. And I have never been on a roller coaster where there wasn’t a seat next to me… think about it. We all have ups and downs but those experiences are what makes the ride worth wide. I am a firm believer in whatever is meant to be will find its way. So as Dory once said, "When life gets you down you know what you got to do… just keep swimming!" Some days will be hard, but you can do it. The key to finding that peace and joy that our hearts desire is to experience NEW things and GROW!
So let's keep growing together... our best is yet to come!
xoxo
Courtney Marie
